Becoming Memories
by Xx18TheOneWhoWasBoth61xX
Summary: 'One lives in the hope of becoming a memory,' but what if Nico's memories are betraying him? Is this just another trick the gods are playing on all mortals for fun? Being in psychiatric ward is not fun, not to Nico anyway. A story of how ultimate seclusion can hurt someone bone deep, of how messing with people can do a lot of harm. ON HIATUS PLEASE SEE BIO FOR EXPLANATION!
1. Prologue- Those Shiny Shoes

Title: **Becoming Memories** **  
**Category: Books » Percy Jackson and the Olympians  
Author: Morbid Targarondale  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T  
Genre: General/General  
Published: 21-09-15

Disclaimer- Do not own the characters because let's all be real here. If any of us owned Solangelo, would the 3 days infirmary be not included in the book series? Come on guys.

* * *

Prologue- Those Shiny Shoes

NICO POV

They say I'm crazy, they say I'm weird. The boys call fat, the girls say I will never get a girlfriend. They don't know. They don't know that I'm not crazy.

Am I?

My mother loved me, I swear she did. Cross my heart, hope to die. She used to sing to me, right before I fell asleep, to ward off the demons in my dreams. My father wants me to be happy, he says so, I swear on the gods. He smiles at me (though it never reaches his eyes…) and he puts his large hands fatherly on my head and smiles.

The boy that sees me every day (and who brings me food…) says that my dad never smiles, but I just shake my head. Of course he smiles; he's Hades, God of the Underworld. He smiles to all the ghosts, and slays my demons. He _did_ say he wants me to be happy.

Today the boy came in again. He was wearing what he _always_ wears. A white lab coat and sparkling white converse. Can shoes sparkle? I think they can, actually, I saw them sparkle when he walked in. He placed my tray of food onto my bedside table and smiled at me. His eyes were bright and happy today. Good. It sucks that he can't remember our times at camp.

"Hey Nico, how are you?" I shrugged, there was a ghost behind him, but the ghost didn't seem scary. Another one appeared. I instantly knew their names were Michael and Lee. They had told me so. Will used to talk to about them so much before it all changed.

"I'm good. What's on the menu today, doc?"

"Yummy veggies and… I think that's mac and cheese, but I'm not certain. It's a bit on the orange side, so I'd eat that after the veggies." I snickered and reached over, grabbing a carrot piece. I took a bite, a loud crunch reverberating through the room.

"And, finally, Pomegranate juice, it's your favourite,"

"It is," I brought my feet up onto my black covered bed, and wrapped my arms around my legs.

"What's wrong Nico?" Will brought up a chair and sat down, a few feet away.  
"Do you like me, doc?"

"Course I do, you're my favourite patient," _Patient._ The ghosts behind Will shook their head at Nico, knowing that he said the wrong thing. We were best friends before. Before _it_ happened.

"The ghosts know that you said the wrong thing." I said softly. Will looked around, looking for the ghosts that I knew he couldn't see.

"You can't see them. My father's abilities mean that I can, but you can't,"

"Oh, I see, I guess my mortal self can't see them anyways, right?" I shrugged, and grabbed a piece of… I'm not ever sure what it was. It was green, so I'm guessing it was healthy.

They say I don't eat enough… too.

"Of course not, your father is Apollo, he can heal, remember?" Will nodded.

"Are you sure my father is Apollo? I'm not that great at saving people,"

"Healing and saving are two different things," I let my legs fall and dangle off the bed, my toes grazing the cold linoleum flooring. He was the best healer in camp. Gods, I'm so stupid, saying all those things and getting stuck in here.

"You're really wise sometimes, Nico,"

"Thank you,"

Will left, and I decided I wanted to go outside. I walked outside and found my way to the outside playground. I sat on the empty swing and swung, back and forth, back and forth. I let my head fall back and the hot sun hit my face. I flinched, but didn't move otherwise.

"Bianca, are you there?" I asked, my voice strangely calm and quiet in the empty courtyard. Everyone must be inside, playing that weird card game. I prefer Mythomagic.

"Brother, how are you?" My sister appeared next to me, I felt her ghostly presence. I opened my eyes and smiled at her. Her hair and eyes were the same colour as mine, but her skin was almost translucent, of course. She's a ghost.

"Nico, why aren't you playing inside with your friends?"

"I don't have any,"

"What about that Will boy?"

"Will? Oh you mean Doc, he brings me my food,"

"Nico, you're 20, you should know that he's your friend,"

"No one is. That's final," Bianca backed off, changing the subject.

"You called me, so what's up?"

"I wanted to talk, duh,"

"Okay," But we didn't talk, we sat in a comfortable silence.

"You want to play Mythomagic?"

"Of course,"

WILL POV

I stood up, time for Nico's lunch. I had volunteered to bring him each his meals, for no other reason than that I wanted to. I brought the tray with a sandwich on it and walked outside. Nico was sitting on the floor, next to the swing set. His head turned to me and I waved at him. He had his Mythomagic cards in his hands, and a couple on the ground. He seemed to be waiting. When I approached, he shook his head.

"Wrong move, Bianca, I win," He set down a few cards and chuckled. He paused, as if listening to someone for a few seconds, then shrugged.

"Fine, 8 out of 9 it is, then. You know I'm going to win anyways,"

"Nico, here's your lunch, make sure you eat it, alright,"

"Okay, okay Bianca, I'll see you later," He said quickly swiping his cards up and shuffling them, putting them next to him. I waited patiently.

"Come sit with me," He said when I passed him his sandwich. "And what did I get? It looks like tuna but you can never be too sure here, I miss McDonalds,"

NICO POV

"Yeah, me too, but no fast food, Doctors orders," I felt a sharp pain of nostalgia in my heart. He used to say that to me too. But this Will is so different. For some reason, he's… he… doesn't remember being a demigod. My dad, apparently in this world is a mortal, though I can feel his godly aura. I have a dog named Cerberus, but he's not three headed. I don't know what's happening, but then I went saw Octavian- and Luke! We all know they're dead. And I don't know what happened. Dad put me into this looney bin, and I've been stuck in here for a year, with a record of 30 attempted escapes.

"Will, do you truly not remember?"

"Remember what, Nico?"

"That you were a son of Apollo and head doctor?"

"No, enlighten me," I've had these types of conversations before. He would pretend to care and I would have given up by now. But today felt different. I don't know why, but it did, so I kept going.

"I came back with Reyna and Coach Hedge, and you delivered a baby? The day I decided to stay?" His eyes flashed with something that I didn't recognise, but it went away quickly.

"I'm sorry Nico-"

"NO! You do remember! Why don't you remember? Why doesn't anyone remember?"

"Nico! Calm down!"

"No!"

But then it struck me. My powers don't work here. I see ghosts. Maybe I _am_ crazy. No one else seems to remember or know what I'm talking about. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I am just seeing things, and the wars and the things I could do and the things I saw in Tartarus were all just figments of my imagination. Pretty dark imagination but still… what if I am crazy and all the past is wrong? What if I do get hallucinations like they said, and that my depression from Bianca's car crash (as they said) is why I'm thinking all these things?

I turned to Will.

 ** _Just a short fic, it'll be tops 6 chapters and be finished by the end of the month! PLEASE read and review, fave and follow and all that! Thanks!_**

 ** _Song Listened to while typing/ uploading- Miss Jackson by Panic! at the Disco_**


	2. All My Hallucinations

Finally. The day of my release.

I know, I know. Just two years ago I was blabbing away about how I am demigod and my psychiatric ward's most hottest bachelor is a son of Apollo.

I realize I was wrong. The heart ache of losing my sister in a car crash was unbearable, so I decided having a fantasy life was better than one without my sister. But, of course, even my fantasy life had to turn around and stab me in the back.

So here I was, leaning against the checkout desk with my father. He was holding onto my shoulder proudly and was actually smiling.

The paper work was finished and Will was grinning at me from behind the counter.

"Son, I'll meet you in the car," My dad nodded to Will and shook his hand. "Thank you for taking care of my son, Dr. Solace,"

"No problem sir, anytime,"

Dad stepped through the revolving doors and I turned back to Will. I leant over the counter and grinned at Will. He crossed his arms and placed his arms on the desk, our faces an inch apart.

"I'm so proud of you, Nico,"

"Thanks Will. Hopefully I've put this whole life behind me. These last 3 years, hopefully,"

"All of it?" He seemed wounded by that, and I shook my head.

"No way. I'm totally taking an orange mac and cheese doggy bag home,"

He chuckled and shook his head. I saw on his desk a picture of him with six other people, all blond, grinning at the camera.

 _Will grabbed my hand and lead me to his desk, plopping me down on the chair. "Promise me you won't try to escape. I do not want to lose my job,"_

 _"Cross my heart," I did the signature crossing of the heart and Will grinned._

 _"Good. Okay so no one knows, but the camera's are down today, so I decided to take you out of your room. Here," He passed me a blanket and then set a laptop on the checkout desk. He pulled up another chair and sat beside me._

 _"I found it quite terrifying that you've never seen a single Godzilla movie ever," I wanted to tell him it's because I was born in the 30's but he'd probably send me straight back to my room._

 _And I'd be back at square one with no writing utensils._

 _"I had a sheltered childhood,"_

 _"Dude. That's no excuse," He shook his head and clicked around on his laptop. It's weird seeing another demigod using technology. I mentally slapped myself. Demigods don't exist._

 _The movie started. "Now, I want you to see the original first. I was raised right, as my mum would say. You always watch the original first. No matter how shitty it is,"_

 _The movie was okay. War, so not really my cup of tea, as it brings back painful mem- hallucinations._

 _They're just hallucinations._

 _The movie ended and Will was grinning. He turned off the laptop and turned to me. "So?"_

 _"Big non scary monster running around. Great,"_

 _"Party pooper," But he was smiling._

 _He flicked on a lamp and the photo of younger him and the other blonds caught mt attention. He smiled endearingly at the wooden framed photo._

 _"That's my family, I'm maybe 16 in that photo, the two boys to my left are Lee and Michael. The two girls Vicki and Kayla. They're my siblings. The two older looking people are the 'rents, they're like 40 in this picture but theyr look 20. No surgery just genes I guess," He shrugged and grinned._

 _"You have a beautiful family," They all shared the blond hair and big blue eyes, all the same shades, except for the mum and dad. The dad gad lighter eyes, like the sky, and the mum had darker eyes, like a sapphire._

 _"Thanks. I get that a lot," He grinned at me and lazily swung an arm around my shoulders._

 _"How do you do that?" I asked softly._

 _"Do what?"_

 _"Act like I'm normal," Will pulled away from me and shrugged._

 _"You're human, you're just like you or me, whether you have depression or not. Besides, if I didn't act like you're normal, then how will you know that you are?"_

 _"Deep,"_

 _"I try,"_

 _He grinned at me and hauled me up. "Come. I'll take you back to your room,"_

 _"Fun, fun, fun," I mumbled._

 _"It's not so bad. I like your room, what with all the Mythomagic figurines and stuff,"_

 _"I'll take that as a compliment."_

 _"It was,"_

 _We spoke softly all the way to my room. It was almost normal. Until we stood outside my locked cell door._

 _"Thanks Will, tonight was fun,"_

 _"We'll do it again," He promised._

 _I don't know who started it, but one second he was grinning at me, his lips almost splitting with glee, the next those said lips were on mine._

 _It was messy, I must admit that. And we almost locked him in my room, but he pulled me out of the room just as the door closed. It only locks from the outside._

 _I was pushed against the wall and everything was messy and uncoordinated, but it was just the way I remembered it at camp. He pulled back to grin at me and I smiled right back, but then I realized what I just thought and mentally slapped myself. That life was fake._

 _I was gripping his collar and he was gripping my black jeans. I was shoeless and I was afraid he might accidentally step on my feet, like when I tried to teach him how to dance. In my hallucinations._

 _"Will. We can't. Oh my gods. This sounds like a reality television show. But you could get fired,"_

 _"I doubt my own dad would fire me for making out with a hot patient. He'd probably only fire me because he's jealous,"_

 _I blushed crimson, and my heart pounded heavily. He said something along the same lines back in my old life._

Will smiled at me. "So now that you're officially not a patient anymore, can I, you know?"

"Yeah," I smiled and leant forward kissing me softly.

"Call me okay?" He gave me another kiss before my dad came back in, glowering.

"Hurry up, Nico. Hazel is waiting,"

I gave Will another kiss, right in front of my dad and grabbed my jacket, racing passed dad and straight out the door. The sunlight hit my face and I grinned.

I turned around to look through the windows. Will waved at me. I waved back, but in a second his eyes went from warm and caring to as big as dinner plates. It looked like he was screaming my name, I heard more than 2 people calling me. But then something smashed into my back and everything went black.

* * *

I've been unconscious before. It varies a lot. Sometimes I'm awake one second and not another, but then when I do fully awake 6 days had passed. (My first shadow travel in my hallucinations felt something like that).

But then, in my fake life, I learnt how to control when I'm unconscious. So I was used to taking control of my dreams. But, this time was different. I was in between being fully awake and not. I must have been fully unconscious. I was lying down, I could feel that. A comfortable pillow was under my head. It was like all my senses except sight was working. Everything was empty. Not the kind of black where you can see outlines of a person.

Will once asked me if the universe didn't exist, if no colours no worlds existed, what colour would it be? That's the colour I could see now. It was just a whole heap of nothing. To tell you the truth, it's terrifying.

I heard shuffling around me. "Hey Neeks. So I'm here for your daily vitals. I don't know if you can hear me or not, but the first day you went under I swore I'd tell you all the gossip so you're not behind. Nothing different today, except that it's July 4th. It usually comes after the 3rd." I felt long piano fingers grip mine and soft lips touch each of my knuckles.

"I don't think I can go another fireworks show without you, Neeks. The first one was hard enough. The second one will be worse. I-I," His voice broke and I felt myself floating.

"I have your sword here too, Neeks. I didn't touch the blade, I swear. Just come back to me and I'll-I'll," I felt a droplet on my forehead. He was crying. What was happening? Did he say sword?

"Chiron said that it's good that you don't need life support but Nico, I can feel your pain. Just come back to me-"

"Will! Come help we have an emergency!"

I felt him drop a kiss on my forehead and he mumbled an apology.

What was happening? Was I hallucinating again? I must be because he said sword and swords were in my fake life. What's happening to me?!

 **Hey all! Read and Review! Tell me what you think and all that!**

 ****Edit** Just popping in Chapter name**


	3. You are my Fake Will

Chapter 2- You Are My Fake Will

I heard Will leave and I felt myself drifting away, slowly, peacefully, into unconscious.

 _ **BOOM. BOOM BOOM**_.

My eyes snapped open as loud cracking and booming sounds came from somewhere. I don't know where. Where am I?

I looked around. White walls, white bedding... what? Am I back in the psychiatric ward again?

I groggily sat up, my limbs aching. I sat up, rubbing my head. My hair was shaggy, my signature style from when I was 14.

"What?" I stood up, leaning heavily on a bedside table and slowly making my way towards the door of something that doesn't even exist.

Then out the hallway, then on the porch. The sky was bright with fading fireworks and I shielded my eyes.

"Nico?" I looked down, to the steps, to find Will staring wideyed at me.

"Will?" I tried to rasp. My voice hardly worked.

"Oh my gods," He whispered. "You're so not real. This is so not real,"

"Will," I tried again, my voice sounding slightly less deathly.

I tried to walk towards him, forgetting my limbs were sore, and fell, face first. He only just caught me. I must have just been dead weight to him as he hefted me up. I leant heavily on him.

"Neeks. You're... awake?" I could feel his warm arm around my waist, holding my up, his other hand resting softly on my cheek.

"Y-yeah. But... this can't be real. No way is it real?"

"What?"

"Demigods don't exist. This camp doesn't exist. I must just be hallucinating,"

"What... Nico?"

"They said this wasn't real. They drilled it into me!"

"What?" Will held me, tight and looked at me uncertainly. "What are you talking about? Nico you've been in a coma for 2 and a half years,"

**ITALICS***

The day I told Will that I thought I was crazy was the first day I've ever truly had someone look at me in disappointment. I remember turning to him.

"Will. You know how I see ghosts?" He was writing up paperwork on his desk, and I had free time to roam the halls.

"Yep,"

"Well I think my brain was just messing up. I don't think I actually see ghosts anymore. I think I'm crazy," His eyes, again, flashed with something I didn't quite understand and he sighed.

"You know. Crazy people don't actually know they're crazy. As you said, you know you are crazy. Therefor you are not, crazy,"

"Did you just quote Pirates of the Caribbean?" I knew that because in my... hallucinations... Fake-Will had made me watch it over and over again.

"Yes. Because it's true,"

"I doubt that,"

"You're not crazy, Nico. Misguided and sad, maybe, but not crazy," He lightly socked me in the shoulder. "But we're working on it, right?" He smiled at me and I felt my heart swell. I wanted to kiss him, all over. In every single place, but I knew he'd just get into trouble.

****END ITALICS****

So dropping a bomb on me like that was not fun. At all. This figurative bomb made my head hurt, I could feel a migraine crawl it's way from the back of my head to the front, right over my temples.

"This isn't real. We aren't demigods. I-I-I was hit-t-t by a car. Or bus. I didn't see. Will tell me you remember that!"

"Nico..."

It was the opposite way round, now. Everyone was crazy but me. Everyone else thought that they were demigods. They should be in psychiatric wards... not me!

"And... and you were my doctor and we kissed for the first time outside my room and you explained you have heaps of siblings and and and and,"

"Nico!" Will gripped my arms. "You're in shock. Let's get you back to bed," He hauled me back to the fake-infirmary and placed me on a fake-bed. Fake-Will smiled gently at me and pushed some of my hair back. He kept making soothing sounds and eventually I felt myself drifting off.

I awoke the next morning with Will sleeping in the chair beside me. Chiron was sitting in his wheelchair, looking down at me.

"I'm glad you're awake Nico,"

"What... why?" Will jolted awake and almost startled me. Almost. I gave him a long look and he smiled sheepishly.

"What do you see, Nico?"

"Uh... Will's bed head. His eyes all groggy from sleep. His stupid goofy smile?"

"No. Look at me. Tell me what you see?"

"Um... you have brown hair? You're sitting in a wheel chair? You have a blanket over you?"

"... but Nico-"

"Don't Will. He's tired. Leave him be,"

"But-"

"We'll talk later, Nico," He wheeled off and Will looked at me with a soft glint in his eye.

"Hey," He whispered.

I had a sudden thought. If I'm hallucinating, does it matter if Will is fake or not? His smile was the same. His big blue eyes. His hair was still curly and wild- yet perfect. If I can't see my Will now, why don't I just kiss this one?

Because he's fake?

But he's still Will. Very much so. I bet if I kissed him, he'd put his hands on my belt loop, or in my hair. And he'd smile into the kiss.

"Hey Will?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you?" He breathed out, a sigh. Almost in... relief?

"I thought you had forgotten me,"

"Never,"

He leaned forward and captured his lips with mine. His hands snaked to my belt loops on my hips and tugged me forward slightly.

It was exactly the same. It's actually uncanny, how this fake doppelganger of my Will could kiss exactly the same, how he looked exactly thr same. His hands, did exactly the same.

How?

But then I remembered. Hallucinations are from my imagination. Of course it would be the same.

I gripped the front of his shirt and smashed our chests together even more. If that's possible.

We finally broke apart, and Will smiled at me. He pushed his hands through my hair and pecked my nose.

"I missed you, I know you didn't miss me, seeing as you were in a coma, but... I did. I really did,"

...

I got out of the psychiatric ward by admitting that past 20 years or so were all hallucinations. I figured if they were hallucinations, and it felt like 20 years of fakeness, then these dreams will fade away and I will see my Will again.

So I did as expected, pretended to believe that camp was real- when it's really not. I got visits from Percy and Annabeth, Jason and Piper. Hazel, Frank and Reyna travelled over to see me. I smiled when necessary and nodded and held Will's hand.

A month passed, two, three- four! Why am I not going back? Why am I so utterly alone?

"Will?"

"Hmm?" He was sitting in his doctor's chair in the infirmary, a stack of papers next to him.

"Have you ever... felt alone?" He looked up from his papers and shrugged.

"Sure. Once Lou and Cecil left me behind in capture the flag, by accident and I was stuck on Zeus' fist. Like, literally stuck. Hermes' team accidentally shot me with a massive glue grenade," I smiled but shook my head.

"No, like no one loved you or someone left you behind,"

"What? Why? Do you feel that, Neeks?"

"No," I lied, "Just answer,"

"Yeah. When Lee and Michael died I felt that. When you left me for two years, just lying in that bed, your heart beating, your brain working, all your vitals in check. I felt lonely and afraid and confused. You were only hit by a few stray arrows by a monster raid. You shouldn't have gone into a coma that deep. I felt like you left me for whatever you were dreaming up in your brain,"

That wasn't a dream, Will. This is.

 _"Come on Nico, it's a special day today,"_

 _"What? It's not New Years is it? After spending six months in this place, it gets difficult to remember the date,"_

 _"How would you know it's been six months?"_

 _"Has it?"_

 _"No,"_

 _"I was just guessing," I shrugged. Will rolled his eyes and I mentally slapped myself. Fake-Will. Well, at least at that time I thought he was fake. I know better now._

 _"Well it's the 28th today!"_

 _"... yay?"_

 _"Do you not know your birthday?"_

 _"My what now?" Hades had never told me my birthday, since Bianca died I doubted that it mattered._

 _"You didn't know it's your birthday today?"_

 _"... well... no?"_

 _"That is purely disheartening. Okay, here. I thought you'd want this, I remember seeing you play that game, and remember my brother Lee played it all the time. This was his uh... deck,"_

 _He produced a tin box about a ruler length long and wide, and about my hand deep, it was painted with bright yellows, oranges and reds. I opened it up to find Mythomagic cards all stacked neatly, each stack died together with a rubber band, then about three or four figurines._

 _"He organized them by strength, I think. I didn't really listen when he explained, but I want you to have them,"_

 _"But your brother is-"_

 _"I know. Have them," He smiled at me, "Happy Birthday,"_

 _I knew how hard it is to give someone something, when it's from a dead siblings. It doesn't matter what the thing is, it's sentimentality._

 _I put the box down and launched off my bed, giving Will a bear hug, that neither of us were ready for. He teetered backwards slightly and only just managed to stay upright._

 _"Thank you," I whispered against his curly blonde hair._

 ** _Just a word from the wise, italics means flashback. I just wanted to say thanks to my reviewer ;) even one review means a lot._**

 ** _I also wanted to say thanks to by good buddy_** ** _We're-all-mad-herex13, she/he (don't know if they're okay with me saying anything personal on here...) really helped me realize some stuff, and just a big shout out to them! Go check out the story, it's Twilight and all, I ain't into vampires that sparkle but they are an amazing writer!_**

 ** _Also, I'll be updating my other story, This is not what Life is Like, We're-all-mad-herex13 made me realize to keep going on that, no matter how many reviews I do or don't get, so yeah, go check my fanfic friend out, if you want!_**

 ** _Also PLEASE review! It makes my day, and honestly, makes writing easier, I don't know if that's weird or not but whatever :)_**

 ** _To end on a good note, I'll be updating soon!_**


	4. Does Every Story Start at the Beginning?

Chapter 3- Does Every Story Start at the Beginning?

The next day, Will picked me up from my cabin, and held my hand as he tugged me along to the dining hall.

"Why do you seem extra happy today?"

"I don't know. I just have a feeling," I smiled at him. He acts so much like my real-Will it's actually fascinating.

"Well, act on gut instinct. It's usually right,"

What was I saying? For a whole year at the psychiatric ward I was 'acting on a gut feeling' that that life was fake. Look where that got me! In a psychiatric ward for three years. Three years!

Will sat down with me at the Hades table, Chiron usually just letting it slide from now on. He watched me as I ate my breakfast.

"What?" I mumbled.

"I don't know. You just look great. I just... I missed you,"

"I..."

"I know. You didn't miss me. You were out cold. I'm just glad that you're okay," I was suddenly hyperaware of our legs pressed together, his breath tickling my ear.

"But I love you," I said softly, so softly I could hardly even hear it. Will smiled endearingly at me and kissed my shoulder.

"I love you too,"

 _The first ever time I said "I love you," to someone other than the immediate family was actually more smooth than I expected it to be._

 _And it followed a very intense make out session, which I didn't expect either._

 _Here is what I thought it would be like. I'll set the scene. The setting sun hovering over a long stretch of beach in my hometown in Venice, a nice italian girl with long braids and a nice body. She would smile at me, perfect teeth and full lips. She'd say 'I love you' in Italian and then we'd kiss, me murmuring it to her as we held hands walking down the beach. I'd probably ne around 20 and she maybe just younger, at 19._

 _I've just got to say, that was what I had though in my hallucinations. When I was 'in the 30's' (because that's so possible). And when it was unacceptable for me to kiss another man._

 _Here's the reality, again, let me set the scene. Midday, the sun high and burning in the sky. Will had knocked on my door at around 11am and had decided to stay in my room, talking about anything and everything, on my bunk, his arm around me as we looked up to the ceiling._

 _He rolled over so he was on top of me, staring down at me with wide eyes. "I have infirmary duty in 10," He said softly. Wow. How romantic._

 _"Okay," You too, mini-me. Very romantic. I guess when you're 16 and 18, romance doesn't come as naturally as one would have liked._

 _Will leant down and kissed my cheek bone, then my nose._

 _And then it just tumbled from there. He pulled off my black hoodie, then I tugged his ugly orange camp shirt off. But, then, he caught sight of the clock on my bedside table and quickly rolled off._

 _I may or may not have been quite thankful he did, for the lower regions. That would have been embarrassing for my boyfriend to see that. Again, I was only 16 and I had thought I was from the 30's._

 _He pecked my cheek before he jogged out, tossing an 'I love you,' over his shoulder._

 _"Love you too," I called back, looking back up at the ceiling and grinning, my hands under my head._

 _I think we registered that at the exact same time, maybe 40 seconds after he left. He came sprinting back in just as I bolted up._

 _"Did we just,"_

 _"Yeah," I breathed out, my voice airy._

 _"And you meant it...?"_

 _"Yeah,"_

 _"Me too,"_

 _"Yeah," He stepped forward and kissed me on the forehead, cheek then lips, before dashing off._

 _You see, quite awkward compared to my dream, but I wouldn't want to have it any other way. Because it was my Will. Well, my Will at the time. My fake-Will now._

Life gives you so many things. Choices, free-will, love, memories of happy times, but then it can give you things that are so contradictory to _good_ that it's actually nearly impossible to think that both things can exist in the same universe. How can choices and free-will be in the same universe as dicators? How can memories of good times be in the same place as bad ones? But, then again, for some, they don't remember things. They get hit in the head. They get brain malfunctions that leave them in a vegetable state and with nothing but strangers standing around you claiming to be family. Claiming to know you, even if you don't know them- if you don't know yourself.

Why, you may be asking, am I telling you this? Because these thoughts are all mixed in my head every single day. Things this _deep_ float around in my head, and are sent straight to the front of my consiousness at the smallest things.

Will's large bright smile. Radiating love. Boom. The first thing I think is 'is this fake? Is this real?'

Will's shiny doctor shoes. Momentarily blinding me. Boom. That memory was _fake. Faux. Non-existant._

My dad telling me that he wants me to be happy, when I was young and 14 and confused about what was going on inside my brain and inside my pants. But then, was that even real?

Seven months of waiting. Seven months of thinking camp half blood is totally just hallucinations in my brain, because I was hit by a bus or a car or a train or a segway and trauma does wonderous things to people. But how could the two lives, so separate, yet so dependent on eachother, belong to the same Nico di Angelo, in the same universe, with the same shocking after waves of pure _hurt._

Christmas flicked by, then January 28th. My birthday. Again. Apparently while I was in my "coma" (notice quotation marks. As my coma was not at all a coma, but I am currently probably in a coma, and Will is probably sitting just outside this universe, holding my hand, or not. Or he could have given up a long time ago. But I'm getting off topic here. Back on track. While I was in my coma...) my dad had visited. Let's just say utter chaos as children scared of gods and anything magical because they're noobs and children scared of death caught a glimpse of my father 'god of the Underworld' talking to a certain terrified 'son of Apollo.' Of course this never happened, but I guess this had to happen for the dream to play out.

So, Will knew it was my birthday. Yay! Not. I woke up to him snuggling my bare shoulder with his nose, humming some song he probably knew and I definitely didn't. When I turned around and gave him a kiss, he smiled.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart,"

"Sweetheart?"

"Deal," He smiled at me and I huffed back. "Happy 20th birthday Neeks,"

"Thanks- wait what? 20?"

"... that is how old you are. Look I know it's a bit of a shock, because you were just 18 when you went under, but-"

"No that's not it,"

I was in that psychiatric ward for 3 years, give or take maybe a month or two. Yet here, Will was saying that I'm 20? What the heck?

But, it registered quite quickly, that time is different in dreams. Mortal books and dreams with a son of the sleep god confirmed that. (Wait what? They were all part of hallucinations. And did I just say Mortal? What the fuck? (But then again, my resolve was quickly crumbling again, my constant effort to keep up the facade that I knew what was happening, was crumbling))

"Neeks, are you alright?" Will smiled at me and I smiled slightly back. I may sound like some high schooler, but he was the only thing tethering me to this world. Again, being cliché as fuck, he's my rock.

"Mental war with myself whether to go back to sleep or kiss you really hard,"

"I'd go for the latter,"

"Then come here," He lesnt forward and rolled, straddling my hips.

But, that excuse of time just didn't sit well with me.

 _ **What's this? An update? *le gasp!* Can we all say a nice big loud what the duck? (Love you to autocorrect)**_

 _ **So, thoughts anybody? I've been in a super deep phase, and I've been watching deep movies all week. Dead Poet's Society, Forrest Gump, (about to watch Shawshank Redemption) I have no idea why, but what can I say? Carpe Diem :)**_

 _ **So I kinda went uber deep with the last part. And I should also point out that usually a flashback is like a slingshot with time. Nico's sitting in his little chair, the present, and he's flung backwards so Y'all can see his flashback, but the flashback doesn't always sit him back in the same chair again.**_

 _ **If that made sense. Which it probably didn't. It's late here, so sue me. (Don't actually lol)**_

 _ **So, I'm out. Update will probably be in the next 6 days. Yay!**_

 _ **Song Listening to while uploading/writing-**_

 _ **Hello, I love you by the Doors. (I'm actually terrified at why I'm listening to songs that are like, double my age, but oh well.**_

 _ **Nicotine by Panic! at the Disco (snickers every time and is now determined to write a oneshot about Nico-tine. Will be out in under 2 weeks)**_

 _ **Arabella by Arctic Monkeys**_

 _ **If you guys are into old(er) music, or rock, or just not pop, check them out!**_

 _ **** Edit** Just placing Chapter title in...**_

 _ **ALSO JUST REMEMBERED PLEASE GO CHECK OUT MY POLL**_

 _ **Who would win out of the Big Three Children? (Age so doesn't matter as well) Thanks!**_


	5. Everything is Perfect until it's NOT

Chapter 4

So, birthday for me, yay! Not yay. Terribly confusing and just two 3 massive memories in my head all floating at once. Number one, my first ever birthday gift that I can actually remember and that isn't in a fake universe. Number two, my 'date' I had with Will on my second year at the psychiatric ward, when we had just started 'officially' 'dating' in secret, but not really.

The third, well, Will and I doin' the do. A lot. For about 24 hours. Did I say a lot? Well a lot. Frequently. You get the picture.

So, of course my pessimistic self only saw this situation as half empty, instead of half full, after Will and I did the frick frack (thrice) that morning, I mentally was beating myself up about how I'm taking advantage of my fake dreamlike Will. Well that's not going to stop me, but it sure ruins the day for at least 3 hours.

It actually occured to me that instead of examining my metaphoric glass, I should just grab the glass and drink it, taking the opportunity. But, then I think, what if that glass is acid? Or pig snot?

And then I realize how insane I feel and I just stopped my mentally metaphoric glass of pig snot.

Will and I stayed in my bed, looking up at the ceiling, his arm around me and our bare legs tangled helplessly.

"Can we just stay like this forever?" I sighed. Will nodded and I sighed again. I just seem to love to sigh.

"I think I'd like that," Will hummed and played with my black hair for a bit. Until I saw the bright colours appear before us. Hazel, Reyna, Percy, Annabeth and Frank were all grinning at us from the 'Iris Message' (my imagination stretches far).

But, at their utter look of embarrassment, at seeing our naked forms, I quickly got over my mental pat on the back about imagination and pulled the covers up a bit more, covering my stomach a bit more.

"Well... hey!" Hazel beamed at me and I looked over at Will, who was burning red.

"Lucky we didn't get you half an hour before, am I right?" Percy said, grinning at winking.

"Percy!" Frank huffed, mortified. Hazel fanned herself with one hand.

"Can you guys like... come back in ten?" Will pleaded.

"Oh with or without your diginty, which you threw at us along with your clothes?" Percy smirked. I leant forward and swiped my hand through the message.

Will and I quickly cleaned ourselves a little and changed. "Gods that was the most embarrassing thing ever,"

"I know right!" I sighed. Will grabbed me by the hips and pulled me to him.

"But, I'm sure worse has happened to others," He kissed me quickly, but behind my head, I heard someone snicker.

"Back for round 2 are you?" Reyna mused. We spun around and blushed, but Will quickly spurted out: "Four, actually," but then covered his mouth in utter embarrassment. Percy literally laughed so hard he fell of the chair and Hazel stood and left, returning a few seconds later.

"Well. We just IM'd to say... happy birthday," Annabeth said around giggles.

"Too bad Will already said it," Percy mused.

"Three times," Frank muttered.

"Oh my god I'm just going to leave now," I held my face, which was burning hot from blushing.

"So yeah, happy birthday," Reyna cheered and they all joined in singing the happy birthday song and then for he's a jolly good fellow and blah blah blah, by the end of the message I was as red as my face could possibly be, as if Zeus was just holding a blood magnet over my head and bringing all the blood pumping throughout my body to my face.

That's supposed to be taken in the least morbid way, by the way.

"Well. That was... different." Will mused.

"Yeah. Also, someone's feeling courageous. Four? Really? They had to know?" I snickered slightly as he blushed.

"I don't know. It just... happened, " He smiled at me. It's so weird. If this were a dream or hallucination, I don't think my mind would be able to wrap understand the idea of Will just saying that off handedly. Not like unimaginative or anything, but it's just so... un-him.

He brought me outside and to the infirmary. "I'm sorry that I have duty on your birthday but one of the younger kids bailed on me,"

"That's okay. One day we'll get out of here," I literally slapped my hand over my mouth after I said that. Will just grinned even more and kissed my cheek, then nose, then forehead.

"We will. When summer rolls away, let's find our own place, okay? Just an apartment, just the two of us," He grinned at me and I smiled tentatively back. This is... so perfect. I don't care if this is fake- I'm actually starting to believe it's not. That my life is just crazy. This is the best birthday present ever, from Will.

"Su-"

 _Bang._

Something hit me in the back, and I went flying forwards, straight into Will, who quickly caught me. Before I blacked out, I heard a few girls scream and saw Will's bright orange shirt dripping with my blood. His panicked eyes blacked out of my vision.

* * *

So I sat in oblivion for a bit, that same place where it's the colour of nothing. Hard to imagine, even harder to be in. Eventually I felt myself being pulled up, like someone had attached a belt around my hips and tugged me upwards and upwards.

I blinked and instantly a wave of pain hit me, around my torso. Will was hovering over me, and we were moving, he was running. Everything was white. The infirmary? I cried out in pain and Will said something, but my ears were blocked.

My whole body racked with unimaginable pain. Every cell in my body, every single tiny part was excruciatinglying painful. I looked up at Will and noticed that he was so panic stricken. I couldn't turn my head to see what was behind me, pushing me forward, but eventually someone opened the doors and pushed me through, Will staying behind. A hand with dark skin (which reminded me of Hazel and Maltesers) put a mask over my face. I shook my head slightly, signaling no, but the person said something- which sounded all blurry- and put it over my nose and mouth anyway. In a few seconds I was out.

 ** _So this is considerably short compared to others, but who cares! I felt if I kept going then it would ruin the surprise! Just keep watching IT GETS BETTER I PROMISE._**

 ** _Well actually I don't promise, you'll have to tell me in the reviews *winkwinknudgenudge*_**

 ** _I feel like doing quote of the day, because why not?_**

 ** _It seems that perfection is not attained when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away._**

 ** _(Translated by me, from French)_**

 ** _Okay so that pretty much summarizes why this is such a short chapter! (Apart from perfection- it could he better)_**

 ** _THANKS ALL AND HAVE A LOVED DAY/NIGHT/WHATEVER_**


	6. Misinterpreting Winks is a Bad Thing

After the person had put the breathing mask over my face, I blacked out, but it only felt like two seconds later when I woke up, presumably in a hospital bed.

I looked to my left, finding an open window letting in some afternoon sun. Birds chirped on a nearby tree, and I felt numb all over. That is, until I decided to sit up.

I groaned loudly, feeling pain in my back, spread from my spine outwards and over my shoulders. It raced down my arms and I felt my fingers twitch with uncontrolled pain.

Needless to say: ouch.

I decided to just stay still until I felt it was okay to move. I settled back onto my pillows and assessed where I was. White walls, white bed sheets, nice light hlue flooring. I concluded I was in hospital.

How did I get here? If I was hurt, then... I would have just been taken to the infirmary. Will would have healed me... but I'm in a mortal hospital. Why?

Maybe I'm back out of my hallucination. Well, this hurts a lot, so I'd rather be asleep now. I can't go to sleep now, I must find out what the Hades is going on. I mean what the hell is going on.

Just at that moment, I heard a door open and a familiar blond walked in, holding a coffee and a magazine. "So today I decided Women's Weekly, because some seven year old took the last Mythomagic Maga- oh my gosh you're awake!" He dropped his magazine and coffee on a nearby table and rushed over.

"Nico!" He sighed softly and brushed a strand of hair out of my face.

"Hey... Will," My voice was croaky and gross but Will didn't seem to mind. He enveloped me in a soft hug, obviously trying to be careful of my wounds. I breathed in his smell, of sunshine and lollipops. I don't understand how someone can smell of sunshine, so the best way to think of that is to think of a perfect summer day, the smell of fresh flowers and maybe an ocean nearby. But if summer isn't your thing, thing of just a perfect day, whether it's a day rushing about New York, all the best smells there are- that's my Will.

"You've been out a few days, but... you being awake... oh gosh when you were hit by that car I thought every bone in your body had broken,"

 _Something hit me in the back, and I went flying forwards, straight into Will, who quickly caught me. Before I blacked out, I heard a few girls scream and saw Will's bright orange shirt dripping with my blood. His panicked eyes blacked out of my vision._

How did a car get into Camp? That doesn't even make any sense.

I looked up into Will's bright blue eyes. "What happened?" I asked softly. Will pulled back and sat next to me on the bed, gently moving my head to sit on his lap. I felt him play with my curls.

"You were walking out of the psychiatric facility-"

 _I gave Will another kiss, right in front of my dad and grabbed my jacket, racing passed dad and straight out the door. The sunlight hit my face and I grinned._

 _I turned around to look through the windows. Will waved at me. I waved back, but in a second his eyes went from warm and caring to as big as dinner plates. It looked like he was screaming my name, I heard more than 2 people calling me. But then something smashed into my back and everything went black._

"- and we were waving bye- but all of a sudden a medium sized strawberry truck hit you. Out of absolutely no where,"

That cannot be a coincidence that it was a strawberry truck. That's just completely bizarre that in my dream of Camp Half Blood, they make money by selling strawberries and in real life I was hit by a strawberry truck.

I looked up at Will who was staring down at me. "Are you okay? I should have probably gotten a doctor or something. I'm going to go do that now,"

I let the weird mortal doctors run their tests on me, and waited just waited silently for Will to come back. I met with Hazel and my father (weird because in my dreams he is a god). They sat with me and talked, and I only nodded along at the appropriate times.

Eventually they left, noticing how I wasn't paying attention to what they were saying. A few minutes after they had left, Will came back, and I noticed he had changed clothes from pale yellow crinkled clothes to a non-crinkled white polo and khaki shorts.

"Hey Nico. Heard you're not talking to anyone," I shrugged and sighed. The doctors had hyped me up on some heavy duty drugs so I couldn't feel a thing.

"Will. I wanna tell you something,"

"You can tell me everything and nothing, Neeks,"

"And I will sound super crazy and please don't put me back in _there_ ," An understanding passed between us, and Will raised an eyebrow.

"I won't put you back in there if you don't want to go. I am your... boyfriend... first and psychiatric ward doctor second. I promise it will always be like that, you first, my work second," He stepped forward and grabbed my hand, curling his pinky finger with mine. "Promise,"

So I gave him the whole story. Right from the beginning, not missing out anything. He nodded a long to it all. About half way through my explanation, Will migrated from sitting on the chair next to my bed to pushing me slightly to the side and sitting with me in bed, his arm around my shoulders.

When I finished, with a defeated "And now I'm really confused and I know I'm crazy please help me".

He was silent for a few minutes, and I began to panic. Maybe it was a bad idea to tell him. Right before I was about to yell out 'April Fools haha' he took a deep breath in.

"Nico. I never told you my brothers had died. When you said they had died, I hadn't told you yet. There was no way you would have known who my family was," He said softly.

"Lucky guess?" He pulled out his wallet from his back pocket and pulled out a photo I have never seen before. It showed his whole family sitting around a park bench, a piece of paper sitting in the middle of the brown wood. Will was grinning at Kayla across from him, and he had Lee and Michael on each side of him. Someone who I presume is his mother was standing behind Kayla and Victoria and Apollo had an arm slung over his mum's shoulders. Will looked to be around 16 in the photo, and has longer hair then now.

Will pointed to Austin, who was sitting on the actual table, in the middle of pulling on Vicki's hair.

"Who is he?"

"Umm... your younger brother Austin?"

"What does he like to do a lot?"

"Is this a trick question? Whenever I see him he's whistling the batman theme song."

"You've never met Austin," Well shit. "But you have in your 'dreams,'. What the heck Nico? What is going on? You can't imagine someone you've never met,"

"Sure I can,"

"No you really can't. It's impossible. Don't say that I've probably told you about him because I don't tell people that he does that little trick."

"Will I truly don't know what's going on,"

"Well neither do I and the worst thing is that I can't help you," We fell silent after a moment, until a familiar tall blond strolled in.

"Dad? What on earth are you doing here?"

"Checking on your dear friend Nico," Will looked at me, and with his face turned, Apollo (Will's dad) winked at me. I blinked but he had schooled his features. "You mind if I talk to your Nico for a little bit?"

"Dad?"

"What?" He smirked at Will as Will stood up, pecking my cheek. He shrugged at me, probably meaning 'we'll talk later,'

When the door shut behind Will, Will's father winked at me again.

"I think you have an eye deformity," He ignored me as he plopped into the chaie next to me, stylish glasses resting on his hesd.

"Nico. It's been a while. You've grown since we first met, with the Hunters,"

 _Wait what?_

 ** _Ooohhhh what is going on there?!_**

 ** _So sorry I didn't update yesterday, but it's a holiday tomorrow for me so I will be updating my other story and might be posting out a bandAu oneshot too, if I'm not swamped with tiredness._**

 ** _So tell me how this was. Good... bad? Reviews make me happy and make the chapters better!_**

 ** _So I haven't really edited my story thus far, so tomorrow I will also be checking for mistakes and things of the like on all my stories. Tomorrow will be a major clean up day for my profile. Yay!_**

 ** _Until next time, everybody!_**


End file.
